I’ve got a girl crush (on my best friend), but not in the creepy way.
I should have probably rethought that subject line…my best friend might look at me in a whole new light, but I promise this is not a ‘Little Big Town’ moment, or even a “Katy Perry” moment either. (I can hear her thought process as she reads the tag line…“What? Like a real crush? I’ve been naked, like butt naked infront of Sarah! And this whole time she wanted me!!!! Oh my gah, I can’t.)
Do not fear, M. My crush is totally platonic. I promise.
Here’s the history, I met M at a mutual friend’s playgroup when Avayah was two years old. We’ve been friends for nearly eight years, and in the course of our friendship we have never fought. Ever.
This is where I tell you we are true soul mates, trapped in the honeymoon phase, and also, that I go for older women, who are blonde. So, if you are older and blonde, we’re soulmates too. I’m competely shallow.
Truly, my best friend is someone you cannot help but love, irrevocably. You don’t get a choice, if you get to know her, it just happens. She’s the elusive cool girl. Yes, that unicorn really does exist.
Her name is Melisa Hildebrand.
We’re the two best friends that anyone could have…
And I’ve spent almost a decade crushing on her and I’ll tell you why I’m enamored, in a completely platonic, no I’m not in-love with her (everybody calm down) way.
She owns who she is. Her personality, values, her sense of humor, her beauty…she makes no apologies, but personifies kindness at the same time. It’s pretty stunning to witness.
Her fifteen year long marriage to her high school sweetheart is magic, think the makings of a fairytale (it’s so beautiful I can’t even gag) and the way she pursues motherhood is nothing short of graceful.
She’s that gorgeous older sister with the best style, you wish to emulate when you grow up.
She is light and warmth. You know those people you meet and suddenly you find yourself unable to stop the words flowing from your mouth, like your whole life story vomits out of you in front of them. This happens when you meet her for the first time.
She is that one person, who you can complain to–about everyone and everything. “M, I might strangle him/her. Today, it might happen.” And then the next day, when you’re shouting your love for him/her from the rooftops, she doesn’t remind you that you were mad at him/her yesterday. She gets your dramatic personality and can decipher whether your bite is lethal or not. Or when you’re complaining about that five pounds you gained, she won’t bring up those
six two cookies she saw you eating. She knows a girl needs cookies in her life. Especially oatmeal ones.
She is the least dramatic person you’ve ever met. It’s how she answers seven ‘freak out’ phone calls from you in one day. Her patience is limitless.
She has your back, always. Her poker face in the presence of people she knows you secretly despise (yes, you are sometimes two-faced about people, but you’re working on it) is strong, like win the World Series of Poker strong.
She is funny, like legit funny, not even trying funny. And she’ll laugh with you, even when you’re not funny. Unless you hurt yourself, then she is totally laughing at you.
She can sing a tune, while your voice scrapes chalkboard.
She will not hold it against you when you order dessert with every meal. She knows sometimes, or every time, dessert is the solution to your problems. She will also support you when join jazzercise, she’ll even let you drag her with you, because you can’t be the only idiot not getting the moves right.
She’s the person who sends the best picture memes via pinterest… “If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.” or “Let’s workout really hard, then hydrate with margaritas!” and “Wasn’t that just so sweet of you to post that picture of us together where you looked like you were from Next Top Model and I looked like I was from the Walking Dead.”
She is like your diary, if it could talk back. She justifies your terrible behavior, laughs at your dramatic antics, and accepts your truths without judgement…but is still there to step in when you go too far and holds you accountable when it matters.
She has the sweetest heart. When you fall into a pit of ugliness, when life is so deeply painful, she embodies both action and support. She fights for you, even if that means cleaning your house. Further, she tells you, you will survive and you believe it. And she’ll never bring your lowest point to the surface, ever. She’ll even hug you, even though she doesn’t give out hugs to those not labeled her husband or her children.
“A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” ~ Grace Pulpit
She is your inspiration. A role model. A wonderful human being, who’s mastered the art of being both strong and soft at the same time.
M, you’ve been the most divine best friend, the kind I pray my own daughters not only find, but are, to those they meet. I’ve learned a great deal about each facet of life because of you. Thank you for knowing how I am and still pushing me to grow. For being my haven, always.
p.s. If you don’t have this type of friend in your life, you cannot have Melisa, she’s unavailable. (I never learned how to share. Just ask my mom. You have to find your own.) Better, be this friend to someone. As a best friend, be someone’s safe place: balance the art of protecting them, yet pushing them to strive to be better too. Soft and Strong.
p.p.s. If you have a Melisa, hug her and tell her you have a girl crush on her. Then wait six seconds before you clarify it’s not the “Little Big Town” or even the “Katy Perry” kind, she’ll laugh. You’ll laugh. You both will keep laughing, because you have to laugh away that kind of awkwardness. Then celebrate her, in some way that means something. Tip: words of affirmation are priceless and free.