Scary Mommy

Yes, I am scary.

And maybe a pinch insane…

Scary, Batty Mama…


Most of the time, the picture above is what I feel like raising four daughters…(and this is what I usually look like before I stand next to wall and start banging my head into it several times thinking, “you just had to have a back rub, didn’t you?!  Sarah, we both (my sane and insane halves) know Brad Paisley sang it best, a back rub is never just a back rub.

Needless to say, I question my sanity daily and here are a few examples:

**When Bella (my two-year old) unscrews the cap of my expensive moisturizer and manages to smear its entire contents over my make-up contouring powder palette.  Who knows, maybe she is a prodigy? I think I even saw a monarch butterfly in her masterpiece, of course after I yelled, threw a small tantrum, and probably told Travis, “Why?! Why is it always MY stuff?”

Of course, nobody messes with his hair gel, or his cologne.

And maybe, when her famous artwork hangs in the Louvre, I will choose not to remember being mad about her using all my make-up as her first medium.

**When you realize that five year old girls have ‘I have nothing to wear’ days too.  These days always fall on ‘running late’ mornings too.  I mean, really?  Who is my five year old trying to impress?  I pick out a dozen outfits and to her displeasure, they are all hideous–her words not mine.  Lord, help me.

Who knows, maybe she is the next fashion designer?  And when her future creations become trends, I will forget all those mornings that she played ‘Miranda Priestly’ and I was dubbed Anne Hathaway’s unfashionable character from the movie ‘The Devil Wears Prada’.

And she’ll forget all those mornings I held her down, by sitting on her, and proceeded to dress her like a flailing infant, of course this is what happened after she’s refused my twelve dozen outfit choices. Ain’t nobody have time for that, sorry kid.

***When you try to figure out where you took the wrongest turn ever in parenting, after your nine year old tells you, and I quote, “You don’t know my life, MOM!”

I might have hysterically laughed in her face thinking to myself, “believe me daughter, you don’t know my life!!!!”

“Mothers are all slightly insane.” –J.D. Salinger

Seek laughter, friends.  (it’s okay if you have a meltdown first and then call a friend and laugh about how the small maniacs in your house are driving you into the land of the loonies)

Mamas are survivors–remember on those scary, batty mama days that you. have. got. this!






Author: Sarah Black

I'm a self-professed 'Drama Mama'...of four daughters, I blog to (over)share my stories on learning to maintain my sanity by strictly eating laughter in the emotional land of motherhood while trying to keep my husband from running away from the sheer amount of estrogen flooding our house.

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